This past year I have been surrounded by the passings of others ... family members, family members of my friends, family members of community acquaintances, and neighbors.
A year ago my husband lost his stepfather and just recently his aunt just lost her mother. Within the last six months one friend of mine lost his father, another his brother, a few acquaintences have lost their parents, and four neighbors have also died.
And now, we are about to experience it again. I know the cycle of life and death doesn't stand still, but I just feel my children are learning some life lessons quite early.
Today, my husband and I had to sit with our children and explain to them that their other grandfather is dying. Papa Rick, who at only 64 had survived unbeatable odds not once but twice, is dying from an unidentifiable bacterial infection. He survived Non-Hodgkins lymphoma and a heart transplant. And now, it seems that his body is shutting down not only because of the infection, but of the side effects of all the drugs he has been on since late last summer.
Its so odd to know that just last July he and his wife were enjoying playing with the kids at the family's annual 4th of July picnic. Back then, it was Rick and his wife, Florence, that was comforting my mother-n-law, for she had just lost her husband, six months prior.
David and I have been discussing whether or not it was the right thing to do to have the kids see their grandfather in the hospital (which will now be transform into Hospice care) and I assure him it was. Although his father was out of it most of our visit, he did open his eyes a few times briefly and his whole face lit up when he saw them standing there. I only wish my husband and Florence could have seen it. They had stepped out of the room.
It is difficult for the children to comprehend what is happening, why it happens (Noah, who is 5, asked why old people always get sick and die) but I think they understood just how much their presence helped a dying man, and those around him.
(Florence, David, & Rick)
(David, Rick & Emily)
2 comments:
Jaime, it's hard to make sense or understand, or most of all, have to explain to children (let alone ourselves) when someone is dying. It sounds like you are including them, and letting them know that death is a part of life...that is always the best way to go. So sorry to hear about your father-in-law.
Thank you Randi. David appreciates your kind words and thoughts.
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